rant?

i'm not sure where this post is gonna go.. but i just feel liek blabbing and complaining for no reason cause i just am not let's say inthe greatest of moods...

i've discovered that i hate how people always think i'm happy and doing great... everything i say isn't a joke just cause i laugh and smile a lot when i say stuff. everyone knows it's not easy saying something truthful about yourself, but i find it extremely difficult... like on msn.. no one knows what i'm really thinking.. and i'm not gonna tell them!! haha.. see there i go laughing.. grr... grr sounds dumb too.. just fake angriness.. i'mnot angry right now just not really happy... but there were times wher eno one realizes it, not that i want anyone to, but i just like to complain right now.. no specific reason behind it... always acting happy is something i usually use as a good quality.. but err, not so good all the time

grrr i have a doctor's appointment in a few days.. not looking forward to it at all.. gonna find out my real weight which is gonna depress me.. he's gonna examine me and be all annoying about stuff i prefer not to discuss to anyone or on a blog.. haha... and no, i'm not telling him about my constant headaches or stomach aches or just plain crappiness, cause i either have some crazy disease or just dehydrated or stressed...

is it sad that i'm thinking maybe going back to school won't be so bad? maybe it'll distract me from what i duno.. but i feel like i need to be distracted...

what does the phrase, "it's fine" or "fine" really mean.. you never know when someone's serious of sarcastic, that why i like using it.. not explanations there..

i guess i'm done for now... i'm not sure why i'm posting this cause i realyl feel like this little bit shoudlnt' be shared.. but ah well, it is.. and i just won't reread it and pretend this was never typed

(:Karen(: